Have you ever wondered why it's so hard to let go of things?
Why do we struggle to let go of a routine, or a habit, or even a place or a person?
I've wondered this too.
To be honest, as someone who loves deeply and fully, letting go of people and things that just don't serve me anymore is challenging.
I love my routine. I attach to people and to places and things. I'm that kind of girl.
But when times change, when things or places are no longer offering me what I need, or when I find myself letting go of someone, I find myself in the throws of being unbalanced.
It's human nature. We like safety, we like to know what's happening. We connect deeply and soulfully.
Have you ever had a breakup with someone, and you find yourself out of sorts over and over again about why things didn't work out or how it could have been different? Sometimes blame comes into play, and even regret?
When you love hard, letting go is even harder.
Letting go of a thing, place or person doesn't mean forgetting about them.
It just means that our hearts aren't invested in them as much or as deeply.
Letting go of something or someone can be incredibly freeing for ourselves. It can allow us to have more room for new and different things to come into our lives.
FIRST: It's ok to be heartbroken and sad. Sometimes we try to bypass any emotions with letting go because they hurt. It's totally ok to have feelings and to ride the waves of grief. Feel the feelings. It may take a long time to process your feelings and to get through all of them. Anger, sadness, denial and grief are completely normal. Someday, you won't be so entrenched with the feelings.
SECOND: Get clear on what you have room for in your life OR what you can do differently now that things have changed. Change brings the opportunity for new things, what could that be for you?
THIRD: Find as much positive energy in your heart and body that you can and send it with love to the other being or thing. Shower them with golden light and immense love. Have kindness in your heart for them, and silently wish them well. If you are letting go of a thing or a place, send love to them and even thank them for being in your life.
FOURTH: Practice a cord cutting mediation. My favorite one is to sit in meditation, and imagine the person, place or thing your are letting go of. In your mind, shower them with light. Then, imagine a thick cord connecting you to the other. Now imagine cutting that cord. Gabby Bernstein has a fabulous cord cutting blog article if you decide to read more about it.
AVOID: Numbing your feelings. It could be easy to find yourself numbing out with alcohol, over exercising, over indulging in sugar, or even shopping. None of that helps. Anytime we attempt to escape from dealing with feelings, we just end up staying stuck.
Letting go is a part of human nature. We are ebbing and flowing all of the time with things, places and people. But, when we love deeply, letting go becomes even more challenging.
It's time! It's time to let go of all of that anxiety, stress and overwhelm and open up your energy to other things!
Currently, people cite stress as their number one complaint about life. Seriously! It is something that gets in the way of how people connect, live and do their work.
It gets in the way of their love lives. In the way of their health. In the way of their happiness.
And in my book, that is NOT OK! Not one bit.
So, my friend, I have a toolkit for you to ditch all three. Ditch the stress. Ditch the overwhelm. Ditch the anxiety.
I'm not saying that you'll read this toolkit and "poof" your overwhelm will magically disappear. But, what I am saying is that if you apply some of the principals in this toolkit to your life, and do them for a period of time, your stress will significantly decrease. You'll make room for other things- like attracting, creating and maintaining love, or getting a promotion at work.
In the toolkit we talk about the biggest common stressors, why they are stressors and what to do about them. (Money and Relationships are the first two.)
We talk about the NUMBER ONE thing you MUST to do in order to ditch the overwhelm.
We talk about the TOP 10 WAYS to manage stress, anxiety and overwhelm.
This toolkit is made FOR YOU. It will help you figure out your own unique blend of stress and overwhelm and it will get to the source of what to do about the things causing you the most worry.
Click HERE to download your toolkit right now. I like to recommend that you even save it somewhere easy to get to and come back to it often. This is something you can use again and again when you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed.
And... if we haven't met before... Hey! I'm Katherine Phifer.
I help ambitious women create, find and maintain happy love so that they solve a huge missing piece in their life puzzle.I am known as the relationship coach who lives in Franklin, Tennessee, a town just south of Nashville.
I'm mama to nine year old twin boys and am married to the most fabulous man (who I manifested, by the way). When I'm not coaching women or spending time with my boys, you'll find me either painting in my kitchen or hanging in coffee shops, like the one above, drinking decaf almond milk lattes, writing for my blog or preparing for my podcast, The Happy Love Project.
A while back I posted on Instagram and Facebook that whatever we are making things out to be in life and in love doesn’t always have to be so hard.
You know. We don't have to make life so hard. Relationships don’t always have to be hard. Things don’t always have to be hard.
Here’s what I meant: Life is actually hard. Lessons are usually hard. Growing is occasionally hard. Heartbreak is hard. Grief is freaking hard. Giving up coffee is hard and eating a certain way is hard.
Life is hard. Of course it is. It’s hard for me and it’s hard for you.
But, sometimes we get stuck in that hard. We adopt that hard as part of our truth and we hold onto that hard with everything we have. We make it a part of our story.
We create unconscious stories that keep us small and hold us hostage.
Here’s some stories that can keep us small:
“I can’t find a new love. It’s too hard.”
“I can’t change my patterns. It’s too hard.”
“I can’t (fill in the blank). It is too effing hard.”
See where I am going with this?
But, if we change our story and if we say to ourselves and the world: “Actually, it doesn’t have to be like this. It can be easy.” We choose again. We choose to write how our story can change. We choose to open ourselves up to many more options and possibilities.
Love can be easy.
Relationships can be easy.
Friendships can be easy.
Our work can be easy.
Money can be easy.
Changing our lifestyle can be easy.
We get to choose these things. Every day.
Yes. I do believe aspects of life are freaking hard. I think sometimes we are handed cards that hold us in particular stories that can define us. I can tell you all the ways I know how it is hard. I know you can tell me all the ways you know it is hard.
But, we don’t have to make it harder. We can choose how to shift our perspective, and shift our life.
This will be a theme I talk a lot about in 2019. Ideas like how love doesn't have to be hard and relationships certainly don't have to be hard, but also I plan to do a lot of talking (and perhaps! even a course or two) about how loving our bodies doesn't have to be hard and owning our true selves and who we are doesn't have to be hard.