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letters from katherine

A while back I posted on Instagram and Facebook that whatever we are making things out to be  in life and in love doesn’t always have to be so hard.

You know.  We don't have to make life so hard.  Relationships don’t always have to be hard.  Things don’t always have to be hard.

Here’s what I meant:  Life is actually hard.  Lessons are usually hard.  Growing is occasionally hard.   Heartbreak is hard.  Grief is freaking hard.   Giving up coffee is hard and eating a certain way is hard.

Life is hard.  Of course it is.  It’s hard for me and it’s hard for you.

But, sometimes we get stuck in that hard.  We adopt that hard as part of our truth and we hold onto that hard with everything we have.  We make it a part of our story.  

We create unconscious stories that keep us small and hold us hostage.

Here’s some stories that can keep us small:

“I can’t find a new love.  It’s too hard.”

“I can’t change my patterns.  It’s too hard.”

“I can’t (fill in the blank).  It is too effing hard.”

See where I am going with this?

But, if we change our story and if we say to ourselves and the world: “Actually, it doesn’t have to be like this.  It can be easy.”   We choose again.  We choose to write how our story can change.  We choose to open ourselves up to many more options and possibilities.

Love can be easy.

Relationships can be easy.

Friendships can be easy.

Our work can be easy.

Money can be easy.

Changing our lifestyle can be easy.

We get to choose these things.  Every day.

Yes.  I do believe aspects of  life are freaking hard.  I think sometimes we are handed cards that hold us in particular stories that can define us.  I can tell you all the ways I know how it is hard.  I know you can tell me all the ways you know it is hard.

But, we don’t have to make it harder.   We can choose how to shift our perspective, and shift our life.

This will be a theme I talk a lot about in 2019.  Ideas like  how love doesn't have to be hard and relationships certainly don't have to be hard, but also I plan to do a lot of talking (and perhaps! even a course or two) about how loving our bodies doesn't have to be hard and owning our true selves and who we are doesn't have to be hard.  

Katherine Phifer









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