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letters from katherine

Lately I have been stuck in a storm of asking “how.”

“How will it work out?”

“How should I plan this?”

“How do I make this happen?”

And I don't know.

I don't know how it will work out.

My plans seem to get thwarted when I make them.

I don't have the capacity to control the situation.

Blah. Right?

One of the biggest parts of the law of attraction is about how the “how” is not up to me (or you). The goal setting is up to me. The creating crystal clarity around my desires is up to me. The next aligned action is up to me. But the actual “how”… nope. Not up to me.

This is super hard for a empire running mother of twins to grasp. Because wow, would I love to control how most things go.

I have a feeling if you run an empire, you can relate.

We have big dreams, you and I. Even if we aren't even quite sure what they are just yet. And it would be lovely to know how they will come to us. It would be lovely to know that the path is decided. It would be lovely to know it is all going to work out.

When the path is foggy, as sometimes as an entrepreneur and empire running queen it is, it's hard for me to also accept that I won't know how the next right action will come to me. It feels murky and muddy and unknown. And whew, that's unsettling.

While the how isn't up to me, I have been finding a lot of solace in knowing that not only does the Universe have my back, but so do I. I've got me. I've got the capacity to hold the big picture and the big dream. I trust that I will do the next right thing for me and for the situation. I know that things always work out for my higher favor, even when I don't think it's possible in the moment.

It can be easy to get caught up in a storm of fear and feeling stuck- especially when the answer of how isn't seeming to appear. I think that just perpetuates fear and stuck-ness. When that happens, I have been trying to actively shift my energy into embodying what I desire. I think about the desires, I close my eyes and I feel into who I imagine I'd be with that desire in my life. I let go of the fear. I regulate my nervous system with deep breaths. And I allow myself to energetically align to my desires. The how isn't up to me, but the energy, the actions and the desires are.

Often I think about the time right before I met my husband and how much I really wanted to find a man to be with. I thought maybe love wasn't meant for me. I believed that I wasn't worthy of deep, sweet, adoring love. I honestly didn't even know what that was. But I got clear on what I wanted (and did not want). I was specific with myself and with the Universe on what I was energetically available for so that when he came into my life, I would know. And when he did walk into my life, I wasn't even sure he was the right one! But, the how opened up as we moved on a path together. I would have never guessed that I would meet my husband on the edge of the earth in Anchorage, Alaska. But I did. The how wasn't up to me.

So, if you sometimes get stuck in the “how” of everything, come back to this message. Remember my words. We can never know exactly how something is going to work out. But it always does work out.

Cue Ariana Grande's 7 Rings song in your head.*

A while ago a predominate leader in the self help/coaching industry received some pushback in a social media livestream when she mentioned something about outsourcing the cleaning of her house. Then the leader responded in a way that made a whole lot of people mad, and the heart of the conversation got buried under all of that anger.

Here's my thoughts on outsourcing….

We can't do it alone. We aren't meant to do it alone. Any devotion to the idea that we are meant to do it alone is connected to a construct that no longer applies to this day and age.

We operate in busy, full, lively, expansive lives. We have so many large responsibilities on our plates. And, we don't have to do it all. In fact, I encourage all of us not to.

The conversation with the leader I was mentioning above turned sour when one person said the leader was entitled and privileged to have someone clean her house. And, maybe so. Maybe it was a troll saying those words; maybe it was someone triggered by their own money story and couldn't ever imagine having enough overflow to pay someone to clean their house; maybe it was someone who legitimately couldn't imagine outsourcing such a thing. Maybe the leader wasprivileged and entitled. But, deep in all of that turmoil something deep hit within me. This was a conversation about the constructs of an outdated system.

If you plan to run an empire, I highly recommend outsourcing tasks that you (a) don't enjoy and (b) that you don't want your precious time going to.

Your time is money. Your time is energy. Your time is finite.

By outsourcing things in your life you are also not only generating wealth, but you are letting the Universe know that your field of expansion is wider. And, even better, you are paying someone else and helping them expand their wealth too.

If you are currently building your empire and don't have the funds to outsource all of the things… start thinking about which tasks you would outsource first. Like, for example, my husband hates to take care the lawn, and I am sure not going to do it, so we first outsourced our lawn care and honestly it has never looked better (sorry, Tony!).

When I worked as a mental health clinician and my hours were nutty, not only did we have the boys in some kind of child care (first an early childhood program that was amazing, and then when they started school an after school program) AND I hired someone to pick the boys up from school twice a week and come over on the weekends that Tony worked so that I could breathe a little bit. My mental health greatly benefited from the support.

I don't, however, have a house cleaning person as of yet. Someday I will, but other things have taken precedence and I don't mind cleaning my house.

Here's some examples of things you can outsource:

All of your meals: Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner (private chefs love to make meals for the week).


House Cleaning

Car Cleaning

Child Care

Child Transportation

Hair Styling

Lawn Care

Home Management

Company Tasks

Social Media Management

Window Washing

And the list goes on and on.

Outsourcing does not mean anything bad about you. It's time lay down any guilt that we have for not being able to do it all. Especially guilt around child care tasks. Moms tend to feel guilty for not being able to spend hours in the car shuttling kids to all the things and other mom-like tasks. (Let's have a conversation about personal policies soon!) I am fully not open to the mom guilt- so I say let's release that for good!

Here's to building our empires. I am so excited to be a part of this journey with you.


Katherine xx

PS. If you'd love to have articles like this sent directly to your email inbox, you can subscribe to my love letters HERE.

I've been doing a lot of manifestation and abundance work over the past few years. I've invested in a number of books and programs about attracting more of what I desire. I've watched hundreds of hours of videos about manifestation. I've taught programs that focus on energetic frequency and manifestation. And, often manifestation is a huge part of my leadership mentoring work.

Here's what I want you to know today: I believe that living your best life impacts how you lead your masses. I believe that you having your desires and living your desired life directly impacts the people you support and who you lead. Our leadership flourishes when we flourish. And my desire for you is flourish exponentially.

For myself and usually for the people I work with, we often find creating the clarity around what we desire challenging. Sometimes it feels like we are being too demanding. Old programming can keep us from actually allowing ourselves to be clear around what we like. We get caught up in how we would relate to others if we found ourselves actually living in our desires.

Barriers to desires clarity can include:

• Mindset and beliefs around not being good enough or deserving enough for our desires.

• Mindset and beliefs that we "should" be grateful for what we have and not ask for more. (Gratitude is a must, but I don't believe we are greedy for wanting more.)

• The idea that a lot of blood, sweat and tears will be involved if we move towards our desires.

• Worry that we won't ever make it to our desires, so why even bother thinking about them in the first place?

• Mindset and beliefs around negative ways that people who have our desires behave.

• Unconscious programming from our parental figures around what we desire.

• Fears around what will happen if or when we actually make it to our desires.

• Cultural and patriarchal paradigms that keep us stuck in a life that isn't fully what we desire.

All of these barriers to clarity are valid- but they are also moveable and transmutable. We don't have to believe those things. We don't have to buy into the mindset, programming or beliefs that say we can't have what we want. The Universe is infinite and abundant, and whatever you desire is fully available to you.

What I've learned though, is that no one can dream up your desires for you. No one can be clear on what you would like your life to look like but you. The only person who really can know and feel what you'd like to experience, have and be, is you.

To be bold and clear about your desires, I recommend figuring out what kind of clarity practice works best for you. Perhaps you are able to visualize your desires, down to the paint color of every room in your dream home. Or maybe you do better writing it all out. You might be a vocal manifestor and need to speak your desires into the world. I recommend knowing what works for you, and then start to really dream about what you want in your life. If there were no barrier to what you want, and if it was really easy, what would you love to have your life look and feel like?

You can't be overly clear here. You can't be overly detailed. So, go for it. Dream away. Be as specific as possible.

I have a few things that I am actively manifesting that I want to share with you. These are just ideas for you to bounce off of, not necessarily things you need to manifest too! Also, with each of these things, I would write in my journal why it is important, or I would go into more detail about each item.

- Ways for my boys and husband to be as happy as they can be.

- Overflow of money so that there is always more than enough for us.

- The healthiest, fittest body.

- A closet full of clothes I love wearing.

- A luxury, first class trip to the Mediterranean coast.

- Christmas in London, England.

- A gorgeous house with a pool and fairy lights in the backyard.

- A booked out new program + mastermind, full of the most fabulous, connected, lovely beings.

- A full service team to support my business.

And the list goes on. The next step after gaining clarity around what we desire is to take inspired action towards the desires- but that's a conversation for another day.

Also, don't worry. What you desire will come to you in the best form it is meant to. One mantra/prayer I always say, "Please let it be this or something better."

Until next time, be amazing and do fabulous things.


Katherine xx

PS. If you'd love to have articles like this sent directly to your email inbox, you can subscribe to my love letters HERE.

Katherine Phifer









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