top of page

letters from katherine


Just Because Your Relationship Is Fine Doesn't Mean You Don't Have to Work On It

Just because your partnership with your love is fine... perhaps working like clock work... doesn't mean that you don't have to infuse it with a little passion here or there.

In most relationships I've encountered, whether as a coach, a therapist or a friend, there are moments that my friends and clients say: "Yeah, it's good. We're good. But, I am a little bored." Or they say "We work well together. But, I would love a little more." Or, they say "I don't want to rock the boat. We co-exist, but I'd love something..."

And often, years after committing to each other, these humans and their partners are living in the patterns they created years ago, with the same routines, the same conversations, the same responsibilities, the same parenting duties, the same sexual positions and the same dates.

The rut is real.

And deep down, wanting more fuels midnight longings and wistful feelings.

Wanting more but not knowing what to do ignites missed glances and un-approached touches.

Just because your relationship is fine doesn't mean you don't have to work on it.

And honestly, with the intense feelings and chemicals of new love long gone, you actually have to work a bit more.

There are many layers that go into fueling an intimate relationship. There are a lot of things that contribute to the art of intimacy.

Often we are bored in our relationships because we are bored with ourselves. We don't know how to change the routines or patterns without having to deal with some sort of mess or fall out. And, honestly we don't have the time or the energy to clean up any messes.

It begins with you. Your turn on. Your passion. Your fuel to the fire. And then, it moves to your lover. And vice versa for them.

Recent Posts

See All


Katherine Phifer









bottom of page