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Five Bespoke Ways to Ignite Your Spark




The humans I work with are often business owners. They are artists, creatives, healers, coaches and mentors. They are industry leaders. They are people in charge of big projects for Fortune 500 companies. They are leaders.


In my conversations with them, we talk a lot about what lights them up.

I ask… what turns you on? What are you passionate about? What ignites your spark?

Like, what makes you so excited to wake up and go do during the day?

And, sometimes they grasp to find the answer.

Work is great. But it could be better, and more exciting.

Home life is fine. But sometimes the routine feels like a rut.

Everything is fine. Fine. Fine. Fine.

Fine doesn’t ignite the fire though, right?

Fine doesn’t light up the spark in our bellies.

And that can be tricky to face. Because sometimes we don’t want to rock the boat if everything is “fine.”

But, what if there were a few tweaks that we could do to light ourselves up more?




Here are five bespoke ways you can ignite your spark today…

(by the way, bespoke is my new favorite word).

✨ Lie down on a comfortable surface. Close your eyes and take in deep, steady breaths. Send the breath all the way down to your sacral chakra (this is a place two inches below your navel- the uterine bowl if you are female). Breath cleansing air into that part of your body until it feels replenished and connected to the rest of your body. (If you have time, you can do this with all of your chakras.)

✨ Go into your closet and pick out your favorite clothes. If they need to be cleaned or pressed, go ahead and do that. And then, put them on your body. If makeup, sensual oils and doing your hair lights you up, do that too! Notice how you feel when you wear clothes that feel really good on your body.

✨ Write out a list of everything (and I mean everything!) that lights you up. What gets you feeling sparky and on fire? Sex? Love? Conversations? Books? Time in the bathtub? A fun project at work? A creative project? Dinner at a bougie restaurant? Get it out on paper so that you can see what you want to infuse more of in your life.

✨ Ok, now the opposite is to write out everything that makes you feel blah. What takes your spark away? Fights with your love? The school pickup situation? Conversations about certain topics? Tasks inside your work? What can you delegate, shift or not do anymore? What boundaries can you implement to make these things better?

(Side note- the car ride home from picking up my boys used to be stressful. They would be in a mood after a full day and it was a long 20 minute drive. Now, they each take turns being “DJ” and we listen to the most fabulous music. It has totally changed my vibe and my attitude about riding home with them.)

✨ Dream about your ideal day. From the minute you wake to the minute you fall asleep, if there were no chores, no tasks that felt like they bogged you down, no issues with someone you love, nothing that felt like it wasn't very fun, what would your day be like? And more importantly, how would you feel? (Write it all out, or speak it into the voice notes of your phone.)

Ok. So which one most resonates with you right now? Which of these will you try today?











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It had been a lifetime in the making. Learning just how nice girls behaved. Being soft, and easy and afraid.

Katherine Phifer

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