You know that feeling when you get caught up in your head about something and you think "I suck at this"?
In this episode we chat about what to do when you feel like you suck.
Want to dive in a little deeper?
READ: Letters from Katherine
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SHOW TRANSCRIPT:
Hello and welcome back to the She's Sacred Show . I'm so excited you're here. Thank you so much for tuning in. And if you love this podcast, please leave a five star review or just five stars, whatever you like, and so that other people can have this fit into the algorithm of their world and their life. And if you don't like it, just stop listening to it. You don't have to say anything. It's okay. I'm not for everyone. This podcast is not for everyone. And it's also something that I feel like. Is really important for me to share with you.
So a couple of things the other day, I was cleaning out the pantry and we recently got home pods for our music. Before we moved to Sicily, we were Sonos people. And we had our Sonoses that we purchased. We had my parents Sonoses that they'd purchased because they were doing something else with our house. And when we moved, we gave my parents back their Sonoses because they liked those better. And we gave them our Sonoses.
And when we moved here, we decided to do Apple HomePods because that made sense. We have Apple phones and they were great. They just look cool and we thought they would be a lot of fun.
The thing about the home pods is that they sometimes just start playing music randomly. It's not on our phone. It's not programmed. It just somehow just starts happening. I don't actually know how it works. And the other day we were cleaning out the pantry because when we moved in, we shoved all the food items into the pantry and, organized it, but it was needing a reboot. And so we pulled everything out and we were organizing it and all of a sudden one of the kitchen home pods started playing random music.
I was like, I didn't turn this on. What is this? And I didn't mind the music. So I just let it keep going. And then there was a woman talking, and she was talking and talking and talking. And I was like, I can't even hear her. Is this a commercial? What is this? And it went on for about three or four minutes before I realized that it was me, it was me talking.
And I have no idea what this is from. Perhaps a course, perhaps a voice note, perhaps an old podcast episode that I did because I used to do A podcast called the happy love project. I don't know, but I was listening to it and it sounded obviously to me that I was reading something and instead of doing it like this, where I'm just talking to you, I was reading.
Something that I had typed out and I could tell I was so nervous and I felt like I kind of sucked at it. I was like, this sucks. Like, Oh my gosh, this is terrible. It sounds like you're so nervous and you're reading something. And my inner critic came out very quickly.
And then I realized You know what? I'm really proud of myself for doing it. For being so scared and doing it anyway. It used to take me hours to record a podcast episode. Literally hours. I would sit there and I would type out exactly what I'd say, and then I would read it. And I was so afraid that people would judge me for waffling in my language and waffling in what I had to say, that my thoughts wouldn't be clear.
And I just couldn't be natural with it unless I was interviewing someone else. And then I had to be natural because I was in a natural conversation and those episodes were way better. And I actually got a lot of good feedback around my interviewing skills, that I was a good interviewer, that I was engaging, but the solo episodes, they were so challenging and I felt like looking back on it, that I kind of sucked at it.
Which made me start thinking about how often we do feel like we suck at things. I think about when my kids were younger and how I used to feel like I sucked at parenting. I felt like I was a terrible mother. That I really sucked and that I was pulled in these different directions that I had this career that I had to be focused on and that I wanted to be focused on and these little beings that required so much of me and it didn't feel like a natural flow for me.
It was really hard. They were high energy. There was two of them and it was like, It was honestly exhausting and I felt like I did not have it. I was trying to fit into what everyone else said a good parent would be. I was very worried about people judging me in public and also people in my life, that I was a bad parent or a bad mom, and that my children's behaviors were a reflection upon my parenting. And my children were wild and they were loud and they were full of life and they were children and sometimes they behaved and most of the time they like to test the limits. And all that was life and real and parenting boys, but it wasn't until I started listening to my own intuition and letting myself heal around what other people judged me on and also what ever I felt was wrong with my parenting.
It wasn't until I started to let myself lean into my intuition that I felt like I didn't suck at it anymore. I had to stop following the rules because the rules didn't really apply to my life, to the way that my life was set up, to my children. And when I started to allow myself to do things my own way, was when I didn't suck at it anymore.
And another thing that happened was I decided to stop worrying what other people thought about my parenting and remember that I was a good parent and that my job was to be on their side. My job was to be their guide. My job was to walk through life with these boys. And it didn't really matter what their teachers thought or what other people thought about me and how I was being a parent.
What mattered was what I thought and what my husband thought because we were in this together as a team. And once I let go of that, I didn't feel like I sucked anymore. We can often feel like we suck at something, parenting, leadership, running a business, creativity, marketing. But when we realize that we've got our own backs, we have the ability to make changes and pivots whenever we want.
That's when we realize that we don't suck. This is just a process of life. We are just living life and sometimes we jump into it and we're great at it and sometimes we jump into it and we have to learn over and over again. I believe that the only time that you actually do suck or that I actually suck at something is when we aren't open to the evolution of the process.
W we stay stuck or with our head in the sand or when we just aren't available for new ways of doing things. Feedback is great. I think feedback is important from other people, from trusted people and also there is a point where we have to go do it on our own. There is a point where we have to listen to our intuition and allow ourselves to fly.
When I listened to that, whatever that was on the home pods the other day, what I was saying was really intelligent. I could tell I didn't listen to it for very long, but what I was saying was grounded in this intelligence and information that I really wanted to share in a really thoughtful way.
It just lacked the authenticity that comes when you are being real. And to be honest with you, at some point I decided that I wasn't going to be so perfect at this. And I was going to say, um, and I was going to fumble my words and I was going to not be liked by everyone because the reading was honestly a protection of looking stupid or appearing like I didn't have this. And again, it goes back to that, not worrying about whatever everyone else is thinking and just putting it out there in a way that feels good to me. So the next time you feel like you suck at something, maybe you have a little growth to do. Maybe there's an evolution process.
Maybe you can dive in a little deeper or dig in a little deeper. Maybe a little more education around the process would help. Maybe reading a book or going to a class or investing in a course would help you to get more comfortable with whatever you're feeling like you don't have. But in the end, you feeling like you suck at something and being present to that is huge because how often do people actually suck at something and they have no awareness of it and they just keep going.
And we're just not those people, right? We're here to grow and evolve and change our lives and change the lives around us in really powerful ways. Okay, that's what I got for you today. I hope that you are having a beautiful day. And I can't wait to talk to you soon. With love.
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