It was the same. Day in and day out. The same patterns. The same thoughts. The same questions.
I found comfort in the same-ness, but also dreaded it in equal measures. I wanted different. I knew deep down what it would mean for me to experience difference. But I was afraid, and stuck and worried about what other people would think.
3am journal sessions would list out all of the reasons my soul was over it. But in the daylight, I would go back to the same pattern, the same boring routine and do it all again.
As my coach Jenna Black says, my soul was bored AF. And it would continue to be bored until I did something about it. I had spent my entire life shape-shifting myself into versions of what other people expected to be. The good girl. The nice girl. She didn't disrupt. She didn't even like the word disrupt. She kept her true gifts quiet, waiting for other people to notice them on the fly. She followed the rules, mostly. And rebelled in secret. She melded into the patterns of her culture, thinking she would be successful and liked if she looked like everyone else.
But then, I realized that I really didn't fit in to the standards that my culture had created. Honestly, I never had actually fit in, ever. And instead of trying to pretend to fit in, when I really didn't, maybe it was time to fully stand out?
I started to set standards around how I would engage with my life. What was serving me? What wasn't? I began to increase the things that served my soul and unsubscribed to the things that didn't. I honored myself above all others. I allowed myself to take care of me first, knowing that I would take better care of my loved ones and the people in my realm when I was fully grounded in my soul's desires. I created boundaries with myself around what I was available for. I examined my entire life, including my family, my work and my relationship with myself. What did I need? What was I over? What was I ready to change? Who did I really want to be?
I raised my standard, really. I allowed myself to heal on a cellular level. I listened to my body. I allowed for more of the real me, until that's all I could only be. And I let go of the stuff that I couldn't energetically align with.
I asked my spirit squad for help. God, The Universe, my Spirit Guides- anyone up for the job- I asked them to help me see the next right step. I asked them for help knowing what was soul aligned. And the answers showed up in coaches, healers, programs, ideas and opportunities I had never considered before.
Knowing what lights up my soul continues to be a work in progress, really. But instead of looking for the answers to what my soul wants by crowd sourcing, or scrolling mindlessly on Instagram and Pinterest, I now know that I just have to ask my soul what it wants. And then, be prepared for the answers.
How about you? Is your soul over it? What's it asking for you to do?
Until next time, be well and do amazing things.
Love,
Katherine xx