Maybe it was the season of year, maybe it was the unique time in our world, maybe it was a combination of internal and external changes... but January of 2021 definitely was hard in my world. And, I was making it harder. I was digging my heels in and wanting it to be different than what it was. I was pushing myself to MOVE when I didn't really want to. I wanted it to be perpetual summer and it was definitely winter inside my world.
I wanted abundance, creativity, flow, and connectedness when all I felt was bleak, tired and uninspired. This has happened before. In fact, every winter for the past 5 years I have noticed a season where I feel void of creativity. It's almost a combination of depression and anxiety. And every winter it shocks me just the same.
But this year I realized what my mentors had been trying to teach me all along... There is no such thing as being "in flow" 24/7. There's no such thing as perpetual summer (even if you live in a perpetually summer like climate) and there is no such thing as burning the midnight oil without getting a little burnt out.
Something happened this past month that allowed me to see this season of void in a much different way. I realized I was approaching it all wrong, not that there was something wrong with me. Up until this current winter period, I believed that if I changed my diet, had a better routine, did things in a more systemized and less messy way that I would always be on fire. I believed that if I just "got" whatever was missing that would always have enduring energy and be bright eyed and bushy tailed.
Um, no. The world conditions us to believe that there is something missing from us if we aren't feeling like an everlasting energizer bunny. For me, it happened in school, in work, in parenthood and in life. I would rally, thinking something was wrong with me, and push myself even harder. Which of course led to more burnout, exhaustion and feeling devoid of creativity and abundance.
Granted, perhaps I could have tweaked some things to feel better (I could have). But even if I did do those things differently, like revamping my diet, getting better sleep and committing to better self care, I would still experience times of winter (or what I call "Blah.")
What I realized this year was that the time of Blah is just as important as the time of Yay. In the winter time we hibernate- but we also are cooking things up in our unconscious that we have no idea about. For me, I was cooking up an entire new membership program. I was planning my new ways of engaging in the world with my energy in the forefront of my mind. I was learning how to give myself grace.
But, because I was tired of feeling like I was rapping my head against a brick wall every January, I started to get curious. What would be helpful during the season of Blah? What would support me? What would help it to feel less hard?
Here's what I discovered when I got really curious:
1) I gave myself permission to take a break, and to plan my year of 2022 knowing that January is hard enough as it is without adding the pressure of trying to be creative. January is my month to sleep in, to go to bed early, to watch movies in bed. It's a time for some work, but any sort of rah, rah celebration because it's the new year is not for me. I don't work like that. When October, November and December of 2021 come around, I'll be prepared for a January of quiet.
2) I went back to the basics with my daily rituals. The ones I talk about in my free guide Daily Rituals for Your Abundant Life (This used to be titled Daily Rituals for Your Magical Life- but I feel abundance is what I'm really talking about, you can grab your own copy by clicking on the title or through the image below). The three daily rituals of creating space and time during the day are what keep me grounded and connected. Especially the afternoon one. Once I was back to meditating in the afternoon, I was able to be nicer to my children at night. I was also able to feel like the world wasn't so overwhelming right before dinner time.
3) I started looking for the sparkle in my everyday life. The sparkle existed in my life in so many ways, I just had to remember to see it. I made a mission for myself, The Mission Sparkle Challenge, to notice sparkle in my day to day life. And I started to find it in my dinners, my mocktails, and my meditations. I started sharing it on Instagram for proof to myself that it was there. The sparkle is the abundance, you see. When I started to notice that abundance was all around me, I was able to also feel more abundant internally.
Abundance is an inside job. No one else can provide you with abundance. You have to see it, feel it, and experience it with your own eyes and in your own body. What symbolizes abundance for me may be different than what it means for you. What ignites sparkle for you? What do you need to let go of in order to let more of it in your life? What do you need to structure into your day to feel more of it? Once you do, whether it's a season of Blah, or a season of Yay, your abundance won't change.
Here's to an abundant winter. Which will likely grow the most beautiful flowers for a bright spring.
Sending my love,
Katherine xx
P.S. If you are interested in increasing your abundance and would love some support creating and mapping out more abundance in love, life, work and money... check out my new 1:1 90 minute Abundance Blueprint Session through the "Work With Katherine" link below.
